omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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