But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
