# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
someone owes me an orgasm
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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