Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
