I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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