The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
