Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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