I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
