I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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