I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
