I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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