I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Randomize
