We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
