just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
