guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
