Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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