We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
