so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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