so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
