It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
