I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
