I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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