and my herpes radar will keep us safe
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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