the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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