If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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