the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
