i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
