The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
