I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
