do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
