If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How naked do you want me to be?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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