If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
