Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
