you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
