im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
