shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
