I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
