He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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