playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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