Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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