I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize