We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
