He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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