You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
