Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
