he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
