i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
