WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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