worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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