Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
