this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
