how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize