If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
