If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize