tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
