youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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