My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
