wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
